From the recording I'm Not Jim
Copyright 2007 Jonathan Lethem, Walter Salas-Humara, Chris Maxwell, Phil Hernandez, and John Schott
Published 2007 Furry Girl Songs (BMI), Lagartija Music (BMI), ElegantToo Music (ASCAP), and Smash The State! (ASCAP)
Walter Salas-Humara - voice
Chris Maxwell - guitar, bass, synthesizer
Phillip Hernandez - drums, percussion and synthesizer
A man walks into a bar. A man walks into a bar. He says to the bartender -- A man walks into a bar. He says to the bartender -- I've got a talking dog, a frog, a parrot, a carrot. A man walks into a bar. He says to the bartender -- pour me a drink. A man -- These three guys -- A man -- He walks into the bar and he says - There's a frog on his head. A man walks into a bar. So the bartender says to him A man walks into a bar. We don't serve string here. Get lost. He says to the bartender -- I bet my dog can -- A man walks into a bar. These three guys -- A drunk walks into a bar. Pour me a drink. The bartender says -- Haven't I seen you before? So the frog says -- This guy walks into a bar. No, another bar. Same guy. So the frog says -- The man walks over to the jukebox. In every bar there's one thing that's always there. On the jukebox. The song "Anna". The man puts a quarter in the jukebox. It's the Beatles version but the man hears the song in the voice of the guy who wrote it, Arthur Alexander. "Oh, Anna, you come and ask me, babe -- to set you free, babe, you say he loves you more than me --" He says to the bartender -- Pour me a drink. So the bartender says -- We don't serve string. So the guy says -- There's these three drunks -- So the guy says -- I don't know, it just grew there. So the bartender says That dog can't talk. So the guy says Pour me a drink. He looks up and down the bar Pour me a drink. So the bartender says Are you a piece of string? So the guys says Go ahead and ask it a question. So the bartender says Okay, Fido Who's the greatest ballplayer of all time? So the dog says, "Ruth!" The guy looks up and down the bar like he has a million times. But Ruth isn't there. He's looking for her, but she isn't there. The dog is wrong. The dog is always wrong. Anna's always on the jukebox, but Ruth is never at the bar. So the bartender says Get lost So the guy says No, I'm a frayed knot. So the guy says No, I'm afraid not. This guy walks into a bar No, I'm afraid not. He's got a chicken with him. Pour me a drink. He goes into a bar. So the guy says -- That's easy for you to say. So the chicken -- The guy goes to the jukebox. The song is there. He puts in a quarter. "Anna --" The guy sits back down at the bar. The drunk leans over and says to him, "you're looking for Ruth?" "Yeah," says the guy. "You seen her?" "I'm a frayed knot. Ha ha. But keep looking, pal. You'll find her." "That's easy for you to say. I've looked in every bar in every joke in America." The guy finishes his drink and goes outside, with his dog, his frog, his chicken, his parrot, and his carrot. It's raining. There's another bar down the street. He can see the neon in the rain. The dog looks up at the guy and says: "You think I shoulda said DiMaggio?" The guy pats the dog on the head and starts for the bar.